A Moment of Silence for Foster Care

It’s been a minute or 957,600.  I have started numerous blog posts and published none of them because we were swimming in the trauma, exhaustion, blessing, joy and grief that is foster care.  To say that it has been a roller coaster doesn’t do it justice.  The highs along the last couple of years have been so high and the lows have been devastatingly low.  We have experienced the unbelievable blessing of adoption and the unusual grief that accompanies that.  We have dealt with the post adoptive blues which I was totally unprepared for and will talk more about in another post.  I have experienced the heaviness of working in child welfare while doing child welfare in my home.  Our compassion has grown immeasurably.  Our family has grown by two little and very busy feet.

Each year that passes, I look back and think, that was a little insane.  Next year will be calmer but that isn’t true.  In the last 12 or so months, I started a new job, lost 70 lbs, ran a literal marathon, finalized the adoption of our son, supported my husband in a job search and we are now finalizing the sale of our home and the purchase of a new one as we move out of state.  Needless to say, not much has happened since we last spoke (insert eye roll).  As I think back over the last several years they are all full of change and excitement and craziness and I’m certain it will continue like this.  Moving forward means facing change and we Gabbards are moving forward.

I hope you will join me again I share about our family, our adventures and the lessons we learn along the way. 

Adoption Day (and completely reflective of the energy level of the newest Gabbard)

When God Just Won’t Leave You Alone

I got to see an amazing God ordained adoption take place….like front row seat witnessed it.  It forever changed me.  Ever since then I have had a nagging, notice I didn’t say gentle whisper, in my heart that perhaps we were being called to something like this.  I consistently resisted.  Come on God, we have three kids already.  We are a hot mess God. Have you met us?  You can’t be serious.  Perhaps we just need to volunteer at an agency that supports adoptive or foster parents?  Perhaps we just need to pray for these kids that need soft places to land.  That must be it.

But here’s the thing, God’s plan for our lives is like a swing.  We push it away but it keeps swinging right back to us, and if we push it away and assume it is gone it can hit us square in the face.

Examples of being hit square in the face.  My first time volunteering as sub in Sunday School at our church I ended up in a room with a lovely woman.  We were chatting while cleaning up toys and she mentioned that she was a foster parent and had helped to form the organization that supports the families in our county.  As if this weren’t enough, the sermon that Sunday was about allowing God to stretch you in your ability to serve.  After this, we literally couldn’t go anywhere without meeting someone who was fostering or had fostered.  My aunt, who didn’t even know we were debating this possibility, randomly suggested we look into it after a terribly local story was all over the news about a mistreated child.

God and I pushed this swing back and forth for about 6 months.  Meanwhile my poor husband is off to the side praying that this blasted swing will just go away.  It didn’t go away and after praying about it and talking about it we attended an informational meeting.  It was informative, sad, scary and exciting.  We came home and talked more.  We talked about what type of child we thought we could bring into our home.  How would our biological children feel about this addition?  How could we do this and keep them as safe as possible?  Could we even do this?  We are still struggling through that last one but we signed up for classes.  These classes begin tomorrow.  We may complete them and feel a calling to a different aspect of this ministry but we are marching forward.  We are scared and excited.  Everytime I think about beginning this process I get a little overwhelmed about how much this could change our lives.  The additional doctors appointments, the treatment for trama, the extra patience, the feeling of complete inadequacy is daunting.  But once I quiet some of that I begin to imagine our first child.  I imagine the difficult and challenging circumstances they may be currently experiencing or will be experiencing shortly and it hurts my heart so much that it makes me grateful that God and I are no long pushing the swing back and forth.

In the coming weeks and months we request your prayers for the following things:

-Pray for our child.  Pray for this little one that is going through something so hard that they need to be scooped up and placed in our care.

-Pray for our children.  Pray for their little hearts to expand to love one more.  Pray for this to be an opportunity for them to show Jesus’ love to another child with their own kindness and gentleness.

-Pray for Andrew and I.  We are terrified.  We feel unprepared and unworthy of this opportunity.

-Pray for a community to raise up to support us as we move forward.  We are relatively new to our local community and would love to experience additional support from those who are close by.

-Pray for the Mamas and Daddys that will be having their children placed into care.  I can’t imagine what that would feel like or the circumstances that you would have to go through to have it come to that point.

Inspite of the fact that I was a very resistant servant, I can tell you that we have experienced a peace since we signed up for our first training class.  If there is something that you feel God is urging you to look into, I would encourage you to investigate it.  Jeremiah 29:11 keeps coming to my mind when I get scared thinking about this new adventure.  For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans give you hope and a future.  I keep hearing those words both for ourselves and for our future foster babe.  Get with the plan.  Find the peace.  Stop pushing the swing.