Circles and Straight Lines

I find myself all the time saying, “When we get there?” or “When this happens?”  When the boys are potty trained life will be so much easier.  When the kids are in school, things will settle down (don’t worry, all my mom friends with older kids have set me straight on that lie I have been telling myself).  When we move or when we have the money…

Recently, a guest preacher spoke about Exodus and Moses’ journey through the desert.  He spoke about how we all have a desert of sorts to cross.  This could be a lay off at work, a delay in our plans to grow our family or a death in our close personal circle.  He spoke eloquently about his own personal deserts.  He even used visual aids.  Each week he had a jumbo pad of paper and a black marker and he would make a diagram of the journey that Moses was on and how it was not dissimilar to the one we are on too.

I’m pretty sure he wanted us to leave encouraged.  If Moses, who killed a guy, can be used by God then so can you.  Journey on to your Promise Land.  Trust God.  March forward good and faithful servant.  And don’t get me wrong, I got all those things but the thing I noticed the most about his talk were his visual aids.  Every single diagram he drew was a circle.  First this happens then this happens then you come back to here.

Hold up preacher man!  You’re telling me my life is not a straight line or even a curvy line headed in a distinct direction but a circle.  I’m out.  Next.  Bring in the next guy.  Kidding.  Kind of.

So often I find myself focusing so fully on the destination.  When we get completely out of debt we will be superheroes!  When the kids get bigger we will be able to take amazing vacations!  When I lose weight I’ll be happier!  When my house is clean my friends will think I have it all together!

What if life is not a straight line headed to a destination?  What if it’s a cycle of closeness to God, hardship and renewal?  What if it’s caring deeply for someone, being hurt, crying and then caring deeply for someone again?  What if its teaching our kids by example, failing, talking through the failure and then teaching our kids by example again?  In lieu of viewing this as a hamster wheel, how freeing is it that all we have to do is our best in this moment?  Tomorrow we may fail but today all we have to do is try.  Regardless of the desert we are crossing there will be a promise land coming up next that will renew us before we hit our next desert.  The things that are most important to me are things that never come to an end until I come to an end: loving others deeply, parenting my kids, serving others in a way that Jesus would have enjoyed.

No destination to race toward.  No deadline to hit.  Just beautiful circles.